Robin Williams

Like the rest of the world, I'm still in shock after hearing of Robin Williams' untimely death.  Depression is such a nasty illness, and it enrages me when I read comments like, "Depression is just an excuse" "What a coward" "Get over it".  To those people who are so thoughtless and demeaning with your words:  You are the lucky ones.  You don't know what it's like to not be able to lift your head off of your pillow.  You don't know what it's like to do nothing but stare for hours for no reason and feel absolutely nothing except a void within yourself that feels so vast and overpowering that you can't even move. On the inside it feels like you are free falling in slow motion through a black hole and part of you wants to pull the cord on your parachute, and the other part of you doesn't even want to bother.  You know it's not rational.  You can recognize that.  You know that, "Other people have it worse than you do.  Why should I be complaining".  To those people who truly do not 'get it':  It's time to learn how to be compassionate.  

I struggled immensely with pre and post partum depression.  I felt all of those feelings.  Even writing this down brings those feelings bubbling back to the surface.  It is a dark and scary place that I never ever want to go back to.  But I get it.  I know what it feels like to think that the world would just be an easier place if you weren't in it.  And I know that if there is anyone out there that has those feelings who may want to talk to someone.  Or who doesn't want to talk - who just wants to sit with someone - I want to be there for you.  To sit and talk.  Or not.  But I want you to know that there is joy ahead.  A time will come when you feel the breeze on your skin again and you think about what a beautiful feeling it is to just exist.  You will let the sunbeams fall on your face and you will let tears stream down your cheeks because you are happy - so happy - that you are the one catching their warmth.  Happiness is yours.  You deserve it; you are worth it.

Talking about depression makes us vulnerable.  It makes us feel weak and it makes us uncomfortable.  But if there is a silver lining in the wake of such tragedy, it's that we can change the way we approach depression.  We can be aware of the signs, we can prevent people from taking their own lives.  We can help each other by looking out for one another.    

Furthermore, be kind to everyone you meet.  You never know when a kind word or gesture could actually be saving someone's life.   And to Mr. Williams - godspeed and bangarang...I hope you've found a sliver of peace.

Chat with someone, or educate yourself on how to be more aware of the warning signs of suicide here:  http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Take the depression test here:  http://www.depressedtest.com/